My immediate postpartum
Motherhood imposed an entirely different pace on my life. When I was getting ready for the after birth, I envisioned spending a month in bed with my baby, taking the time to meet each other in pure bliss. I didn’t want to rush this process, and I had let friends and family know that I would reach out when I was ready to see them.
When my son was born, I disconnected from the world, to stay fully present with him. After five weeks, I felt enough strength and curiosity to leave my nest, and go for a walk around my local park. At the time, it felt like the biggest accomplishment. But quickly afterwards, I began to feel a sense of overwhelm, and wondered if I’d ever be able to leave the house again.
It suddenly dawned upon me that there were too many things to consider, like, where would I breastfeed? Where would I change his nappy? What if he cries inconsolably? I was in awe of all the mothers I’d seen out and about with very young babies, I had no idea how they managed.
A few days later, I planned to meet a local mum. Sharing our birth and postpartum stories took a load off my shoulders. I felt heard, I felt seen, and I didn’t feel alone anymore. This friendship was the first of many I made in my local area, as I quickly grasped that it is only through a strong sense of community that I would find my way into the world again.
I’m sharing my immediate postpartum experience because I believe that true healing happens collectively. When we connect with other women, when we share in circles, when we honour each other’s experiences, we truly heal.
I later realised that the main reason why I didn’t leave my house earlier than five weeks since the birth was because I was hiding away from the full emotional load of motherhood.
When we share with mothers we break the silence of early postpartum. Before going into it, no one tells us the full story of postpartum life. We don’t hear about how the enormous sense of responsibility that comes with taking care of a little human can leave us feeling heavy. Or that the immense sense of fear that comes with the uncertainty of postpartum life can leave us feeling powerless. We don’t talk about how the sense of feeling so alone and invisible as mothers can leave us feeling crushed. Or that the profound grief that comes from not being the adequate mum we hoped to be can leave us feeling despair. There is a lot that nobody talks about, until we meet other mums who are going through it with us.
No wonder we don’t prioritise our health and wellbeing. No wonder figuring out how to fuel ourselves with nutrient dense foods, and how to move our bodies back into alignment and stability, and when to take time to rest is at the bottom of our concerns. We don’t have the mental space, the energy or motivation to take care of ourselves. And we don’t want the guilt that comes with putting ourselves first.
Yet, we must take our postpartum recovery seriously. We must put our energy into re-building foundational health so we can continue to look after our families as our kids grow older. We must model to our children how to take care of themselves. We must invest in ourselves, because, as mothers, we are at the centre of it all.
With MotherHealth, I aim to support mothers by encouraging and motivating them to heal from the inside out. I aim to support them every step of the way, offering accountability to facilitate change and to take agency of their own health and wellbeing. I meet mothers in the depths of their postpartum experience, and offer a space for connection, where they can feel held. It is never too late to heal, it is never too late to mother the mother.