Cyclical Living for Mothers
Cyclical living is a way of reconnecting to our natural rhythm, growing and evolving within the constant ebb and flow of life. We are all cyclical beings, and we can easily forget this as we exist in systems and societies that demand an unnatural linear way of life.
After giving birth, we envision a linear journey of recovery. One where we go back to our bodies, routines and relationships as we knew them pre-pregnancy. Most of us believe in the idea of nine months in - nine months out, where we take around nine months after birth to return to being and feeling ourselves again.
All around the world there are different ideas around how long the postpartum period is, and it can be different for every woman, but almost universally it feels longer than we want it to be, expect it to be and think it should be. Regardless, after birth, we step into the role of a lifetime, and this is a whole journey in and of itself. Each of us journey into motherhood at our own pace, following our own path, in our unique rhythm, and it is most certainly not a linear one for any of us.
For this reason, I have found that cyclical living in motherhood can support us deeply in navigating our journeys with less resistance, flowing with it rather than battling against it. It is a way of accessing energy to live fuller, while learning to rest and nourish ourselves with true respect.
Nature’s Cycles
Balance day and night
Plan your day so that during the morning you do more high-energy activities, and gradually ease off to lower-energy activities towards the end of the day. This includes thinking about what you eat, when/how you move your body, as well as what you prioritise in your role as a mother. For some ideas on how to manage your energy, read my blog on sleep deprivation + exhaustion in motherhood. The best way to stay on top of your energy management on a daily basis is to follow cycles of ninety to one hundred and twenty minutes of activity, followed by ten to fifteen minutes of rest in between. This can look differently for all of us, but as long as you intentionally switch off and disengage from whatever it is you are doing throughout the day, you restore your nervous system and sustain greater harmony.
Attune to your menstrual cycle
Follow your menstrual cycle and practice menstrual cycle awareness. I appreciate that after giving birth, it can take time for our menstrual cycles to return. If they have, then tapping into the different stages of the cycle is a fantastic way to manage our energy. There are several resources for doing so, and I believe that every woman should have the right to plan their life according to it. In short, use the time of your bleed to rest and go inwards, and your time of ovulation to go outwards and spend more energy. Use the luteal/premenstrual phase to slow down, and use the follicular phase to gently rise back into the world. I particularly love the work by The Red School, and also the book ‘Period Power’ by Maisie Hill.
Follow the moon cycle
The cycles of the moon, similar to the menstrual cycle, offers a roadmap into living with more harmony. The New Moon, when the sky is at its darkest, is an invitation to rest and to go inwards. Find time to reflect, and perhaps to plant new ideas and follow new opportunities. The Waxing Moon is an opportunity to nurture ourselves as we re-awaken our energy, rebuild our strength, and resiliency. Seek time to replenish and revitalise yourself. The Full Moon, when the sky is at its brightest, is an invitation to express your heightened energy and engage with the world. Take moments of being in communion with others, while preparing to let go of what no longer serves you. The Waning Moon invites us unwind and reflect. Begin to slow down and prioritise creating time for yourself and to re-evaluate your expectations. It’s a good time to let go, cleanse and detoxify as you begin the process of surrendering to the New Moon once again.
Sync with the seasons
The seasons offer us ways of experiencing life with more flow. Follow the natural rhythm Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn by eating according to each season and guiding your activity according to the daylight available in each season. Tap into the nature around you by following whether its dormant, blooming, growing or falling. Just like with the menstrual cycle and the moon cycle, we are better off resting in Winter and releasing excess energy in Summer, while allowing Spring for new growth and Autumn to shed away what we no longer want or need.
My journey into living cyclically postpartum
Before becoming a mother to ilan, I was very attuned to my menstrual cycles. I had a strong practice of menstrual cycle awareness, and I tried to eat, exercise, work and socialise according to my cycle. It wasn’t an easy practice, it was messy and I experienced several symptoms that reminded me when I deviated from it. Nevertheless it was a good enough guide to live with greater harmony. However, after the birth, I found myself completely lost without it. My menstrual cycle, my inner compass, was not reliable.
I went through my first bleed at three months postpartum, which was earlier than for most women I knew. The second bleed was at six months, then at nine, and then at 43 weeks (exactly the same time as my gestation period) I was back to my usual 32-day cycles. Looking back, it seems like I was in fact quite regular, as I bled every three months or so before returning to my monthly bleeds. However my pre-menstrual symptoms felt otherworldly, my period of ovulation became painful, and my bleeds were incredibly heavy. I felt like a teenager again, where my body felt foreign and unpredictable and uncomfortable and I did not enjoy being in it.
Throughout this time, I resorted to a new way of living cyclically, and I used the moon cycles to guide my energy management, my nutrition, my exercise and most importantly, the way I wanted to turn up for ilan. I quickly found that my hormones, my digestion, my mood and my immune system were more stable. I also used the seasons to nurture my body and plan my maternity. I found that this worked well for setting long-term goals and living in alignment with the world around me, bringing a sense of ease despite the rollercoaster journey of becoming a new mother.
finding your way of living cyclically
At the core of living cyclically, is finding your own rhythm and what works for you, while letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. You can start small, perhaps with the current moon cycle, and the current season, maybe trying one thing this week that brings you into alignment with the natural world around you. Tap into managing your energy cyclically to achieve long-term health and wellbeing. Invite what feels good in your body, and tend to your needs with softness and deep respect for your motherhood journey.